Let Go...and Let God!

How do I adequately explain what CRHP is and what it has begun to do in my life in a short 2 weeks? Especially expected to keep the CRHP secrets…

Growing up in my Oklahoma hometown in a family that wasn’t predictable often gave me anxieties about the lack of stability. My grandparents were the constant I needed and helped to provide a Christian base for me. When I left that hometown in search of a life, I landed in Norman, OK. Home of the Oklahoma Sooners. I was where I was supposed to be.

College life was great and throughout I began to see that as a growing adult, life wasn’t always predictable. As sheltered as my grandparents tried to be with me and as steady as their love was, there came a point where naturally life takes control and protection isn’t something a parent or grandparent can do much of. I; however; graduated successfully with an Early Childhood Education degree and decided to plant some roots in my new great state of Texas. Yes, there were a lot of Longhorns around (both mammals and fans), but I had decided to allow my love with my now husband to grow and start a family.

As any family, we all have our highest of highs and lowest of lows. And in those lowest of lows, we all feel alone. As if we are quite possibly the only people suffering and having such lows. It’s easy to see that life can temporarily lose meaning and ordinary things become meaningless. I had definitely reached this point in the last couple of years and have often had a difficult time of getting back to the meaning of life. The pizzazz it once held and the hopefulness that used to fill my heart.

Back in January of 2012, I began to hear more about CRHP and that women and men were experiencing such wonderful things that could only come from committing some time with God. I knew it was such a sacrifice to shut off the busyness of life and truly commit that time to God, allowing Him to fill our lives with that meaning again, that pizzazz and hopefulness that had been lost.

Fast forward to January 2013, I knew it was time. There was a pulling on my heart that said, “Channan, it’s time to heal. It’s time to Let go….and Let God.”

As I arrived bright and early for my CRHP retreat on Saturday morning and after dragging my feet out the door to kiss my children a million times, I felt such a rush of excitement for what was to come. I immediately knew I was in good hands and felt the presence of God.

Without going into too much detail, the weekend was filled with testimonies on God’s love and faith in Him. I was shown that not only am I not alone, but I am in great company with any of the lost hope I have often felt. I was shown that in the darkest times, that God’s strong arms are the one’s carrying us to a safe refuge where hope and times of healing begin.

As I sat at a table of women whom I didn’t even know, I felt such love for them. They each had a story. Every woman, every man, every child has a story. I now look into the faces of complete strangers and have such a strong compassion for each person, not knowing their story, but sure there is one to be told.

Throughout the weekend, the love from the women, the faith that was shared, I felt us all being held by God. The times we are not able to carry ourselves any longer, He does. And I am so incredibly grateful for that. This retreat taught me the undying love of our Savior. The times I felt alone and defeated, I wasn’t. He was there, holding out His hand and waiting for me to take hold so He could lift my heavy burdens. That CRHP weekend allowed me to surrender some of my most heightened anxieties which I obsessively pray for numerous times a day. It was a moment that I recognized these anxieties further and literally handed them over to Him. It was the first time in my life I truly felt I was able to be delivered from the heavy lifting and trust in what was ahead. The very first time I have Let Go…and Let God.

I highly encourage each of you that reads this, if you haven’t already, please sign up for a CRHP retreat should you feel called to do so. It truly is life changing and I promise, you won’t regret it.

Christ Renews His Parish a Male Perspective

 It was after weeks of gently pushing, kindly suggesting, and politely begging that my wife convinced me to attend a “church retreat”.   I decided to trust her. (Sometimes those closest to us know what we need better than we do.)  I was on a business trip in Seattle, when I stepped out on the hotel balcony to enjoy the night air and stare at the stars over the bay when I decided I needed to go to CRHP.   I stepped outside that night to think about my life, my job, my family, and my faith.  All of those generic esoteric questions that I was pondering would soon have an answer.

A lot of the men who have experienced the greatness of a CRHP retreat have similar stories. 

Even though I agreed to go, when I arrived, I was still reluctant to participate.  Who wants to go grunt and beat drums, and share feelings?  Besides, I go to Mass every Sunday with my wife.  I have plenty of great friends. That’s enough, right?  I mean, it was during football season. . . .

So much in this life will always remain a mystery, our Church unabashedly calls them Mysteries, and as such, parts of CRHP should remain a mystery, until you experience it. I will say all of this is available to you, but you have to say “Yes”.

Let’s fast forward past CRHP at what I have gained because I said “Yes”.

I  have friends.  I have real friends, in almost every seating section at nearly every Mass.  Most of them are older than I am.  Most of them grew up in different eras, and different parts of the country.  Some of them have had similar struggles as me.  Some of them are converts like me. Some have had to go through annulments like me. Some have had much tougher struggles than I have. I respect them all.  They aren’t the same generic parishioners to me when I was just going to Mass; they are Charlie, Keith, Chris, Bob, and Ryan. I know their names.   They are great men that I respect and value in my life.
I gained perspective.

I gained a renewed confidence in my faith.

I have a renewed understanding of my relationships.

I have a renewed sense of Whose I am.

I have an even better marriage.  (If your wife has already attended, she will understand)

I didn’t have to grunt, or beat drums, or really even share my feelings, but what I did find was a renewed energy and desire to deepen my faith.  I didn’t know that night in Seattle what I was searching for, but it was simple. . . all I had to do was say yes to CRHP.

 I encourage everyone to go to CRHP.  If you doubt me, then go ahead and sign up,  I dare you.

-Joshua

And the Oscar goes to....

I am a huge movie fan.  Rom-com, action-drama, tear jerker, political thriller, classic.  Love them all.  My taste seems to favor the quirky off-beat feel good movies like Little Miss Sunshine, Juno and Big Fish.  So, a movie fanatic like myself, looks forward to this season—you know, Movie Awards Show Season which kicks off with the Golden Globes and culminates with the pinnacle of awards shows, The Academy Awards.

The Academy Award nominations for Best Picture were announced last week and I was thrilled with the selections. 9 out of a possible 10 films were nominated for the highest film honor and as of today, I have seen 5 of them. 

I have seen Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Argo, Django Unchained, and Les Miserables.  That leaves Amour, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Zero Dark Thirty and Life of Pi on my must see list. I read the book Life of Pi and know the movie follows the book’s ending.  (Semi spoiler alert) That ending drove me insane, so I am not looking forward to reliving that frustration, but I hear the cinematic feats of this movie are worth the surprisingly frustrating ending. 

From a faith perspective, the movie with the best message, religious symbolism and focus on triumph over evil, undoubtedly, is Les Miserables.  Christian themes in Les Mis abound:  forgiveness, redemption, grace and hope to name a few.  If you are not familiar with the novel by Victor Hugo or the award winning Broadway play, the main character, Jean Valjean, played by Hugh Jackman, is a sinner who transforms himself after receiving kindness from a priest.  In the film version, the priest sings, "By the Passion and the Blood, God has raised you out of darkness; I have bought your soul for God!"  Through this encounter with grace, which is far more beautiful than I can portray, Valjean is reformed and transformedI   In turning his life around, Jean Val Jean extends his love and compassion to others by answering a dying woman’s plea, owning up to a crime that he committed that was mistakenly placed upon another, rescues a dying man from war and receives forgiveness and contentment at the end of his life.   The famous line from Valjean’s final scene “to love another person is to see the face of God” sung by Hugh Jackman’s Valjean is reminiscent of the scripture verse from 1 John 4:7,  “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.”  In this final uplifting scene that depicts Valjean as prepared to die, asking God to take him to his glory, we see that Valjean is surrounded by his loved one and is received, by angels, into heaven.

Les Miserables certainly is a film that I would recommend for the entire family.  Be prepared, however, there are probably two lines of dialogue and the movie is 157 minutes.  Go to the bathroom beforehand and be ready to leave the movie theatre singing.

Post-holiday “blues”? Bah, humbug!

I’m a procrastinator.  You know the type…you may even be one of these…  Our excuses for this type of behavior range from, “I work better under pressure,” to, “I just can’t seem to stay ahead of everything.” However, in this case, I had mulled my topic over and over in my mind during the holidays, made some notes over the last few days, and tried my best to distill it all down to something worth sharing.  My deadline is end of day today, and I hope it doesn’t show!

Hopefully, something in my posting will strike a chord with some of you.  And I invite you to please post a comment if you react to anything in particular.  In fact, in preparation for this blogging exercise, I went back and read all of the postings since our GSCC blog began.  I had already read some here and there, but I wanted to be sure to read over what all of the contributors had shared.  So many of the postings were very personal, and I was struck by the enormous outpouring of faith and commitment to sharing that precious gift of faith with others, in a word:  Evangelization.  I was disappointed in myself for not ever taking the time to comment on postings that truly touched me.  It seems only three comments have been posted to a single entry, so far.  Sure, we have been moved, and have silently reacted to many, but we just haven’t taken that next step of posting a comment.   Let’s change that!  Let’s inspire our contributors to further sharing, by responding to their thoughts and generating a discussion. 

I would like to begin some commentary by telling Lauren, who most recently shared true inspiration in her “Breadth of Life” posting, that I was so spiritually uplifted by her contribution.  Her wish for us, that we always find the strength to say “yes” to God’s will for us touched me deeply, since this is something I think about almost on a daily basis.  In fact, this very topic of accepting God’s will for us will be receiving renewed attention in my life in this New Year.

The Christmas holidays are now over, kids have gone back to school, families have retreated to their daily lives, and the dreaded process of taking down the tree and storing of ornaments is behind us.  Maybe what many of us feel, in the aftermath of such a glorious season, is a mixture of both let-down (gosh, it’s all over!) and relief (how long could the frenzy go on?)  But what remains, really, is the life-asserting knowledge, that while all the secular signs of holiday cheer have been put aside, the gift of our salvation endures forever and demands our ongoing awareness all throughout the year.  So while we hear terms bantered about like January “blues”, “blahs”, or “doldrums”, there is actually much to focus upon and many reasons to continue celebrating the true meaning of our Christmas season.  Post-holiday “blues”? Bah, humbug!

New Year’s resolutions, per se, constitute a hackneyed exercise:  every year it is somewhat incumbent upon us to work up a list of those areas of our lives that “need work”.  Some of these are the usual:  lose ten pounds, get more exercise, become more tech-savvy (depending on your age group!)  My experience has been that by about July, I convince myself that it can all still be accomplished, and by January, I am disappointed by my lack of success in most of these endeavors!  Then there are “heavy-duty” resolutions requiring feats of character, personal improvement, spiritual growth, and outreach toward others.  These are the ones that sometimes keep me awake at night throughout the year,  as I review my daily actions at the end of the day, and realize that not only have I not stepped up, but may have actually backslid.  And so, another year has come and gone, and like most of us, I have experienced a measure of success in some areas, and failure in others.  But a New Year gives me renewed hope and determination to continue on my journey, albeit imperfect, to grow in my faith, to have the strength, as Lauren wished for us, “to say ‘yes’ to God’s will,”  and to discern how I can best utilize the gifts I have been granted.  I am always reminded of God’s reassuring and unconditional love for us in the words: 

 “Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.  IS 41: 10

May you all be blessed by a year of health, of strength, of faith, and of joy in the knowledge that Christ has enabled our salvation.  ~Cyndy G